Date with Ron was disastrous.

Now that I am safely in my flat at home, am also very disturbed. Actually pictured shagging Viktor, while groping Ron. Cannot be a good sign, although haven't seen Viktor in several years, and have reconsidered my stance on his looks.

Ron is handsome. Ron is more than handsome. Ron is fit and muscular and sexy and famous and rich and kind and funny and stubborn and lovable.

So.

Why don't I love him?

At Hogwarts, was obsessed with him. Worshipped him. Thought he was most fanciable and delightful boy in the whole world.

Have not exactly reconsidered, but perhaps no longer exactly agree?

But why not?

What has changed? Why can't I love him any longer? Where has the schoolgirl passion gone to?

Am quite confused. And disappointed. More and more, am beginning to believe Ron and I are not sure thing. Not at all. Yet, everyone thinks so. Everyone.

Even Charlie has alluded to it.

Charlie comes Sunday. Must clean flat. Cannot forget.

Haven't seen Charlie since That Day. That, must forget. Immediately.

Bollocks. Life is a mess.